DEPLORABLES 1-0 CORRUPTIBLES

The world of sport was shocked at the result that the United States Deplorables have snatched a scrappy 1-0 win over their rivals the American Corruptibles. The Deplorables, known for their hard tackling, fouling, coarse...

COURT RULES THAT MAN CAN’T QUIT THE GYM

London.  The High Court has decreed that Ian Fairmile, 31, cannot quit his local gym without a vote by the gym management and owners. Fairmile joined the gym 2 years ago but found that the facilities were sub-standard, t...

BLAIR KILLS OFF 2nd REFERENDUM HOPES

“We should definitely have one” said reviled ex-PM Tony Blair, instantly turning millions off the idea. “Once the British public know the seriousness of the impact Brexit will have I believe they deserve a second referen...

Justin Trudeau: I Am Omnipinionated

OTTAWA: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared himself to be officially “Omnipinionated”.  “I hold all opinions to be equally valid” he said in a press conference.  “I believe in diversity, except when it comes to Canada...