NEW YORK CITY: Based on the feedback from the 3rd Presidential Debate and early polling data, the Hillary Clinton campaign team are already celebrating what looks like a comprehensive victory for her with much hand rubbing, sinister eyebrow raising and low, throaty chuckles of “bwa-ha-ha!” which increased in volume the longer they cackled.
“Good vork, Igor” said New York state campaign chief Bill Ruckles to one of his aides. “Zis iz just phase one…phase two vill commence at midnight!” he said, raising his right hand to the heavens in defiance as a crack of thunder and lightning went off in the background.
“Shall…shall I unleash the Gorgon, master?” said Clinton press spokesperson Jenny Grondar, affecting a hunched back and Peter Lorre voice. Secretary Clinton responded with “not now, Grondar, we will wait until the time is right; when the stars are in alignment.”
Brushing off criticisms that voting has somehow been rigged, Secretary Clinton reassured the voters that “Absolutely not. This is still an election and there is still much campaigning to be done before main voting commences. Furthermore those who are loyal will be rewarded, and the rest….DESTROYED!” Before wandering off stage, flourishing her cape and going BWA-HA-HA-HAAAAA! in a theatrical manner.
Although most states have yet to declare, exit polls show that the American public is willing to pledge their allegiance to their new overlords lest they be fed to the Moloch.